Moms Can Have Friends Too

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The kids will play with anyone. Let’s make friends for us sometimes too.

I had a conversation the other day with my older sister that blew my mind. She isn’t married and she doesn’t have kids so she has a pretty good perspective on how crazy I can sometimes act. Fortunately, she said this crazy wasn’t specific to me. She pointed out something that moms, especially those of us with small kids, do that is really weird. And I had never noticed it until she brought it up but she is absolutely right. We ALL do it, ALL the time!

She observed that when we as moms want to hang out with another mom, we try to arrange it through our children. “Oh we should get these two together for a play date this week!” or “Let’s take the kids to the park on Saturday.” As if our toddlers really care. In my sister’s words, “They just sit around and poke at each other’s eyes.”→   Keep Reading!

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Letting Go of Expectations

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Up on my soapbox again. This time it’s about all the flipping expectations your friends, your family members, church, school, Pinterest, bloggers, the WORLD! place on you. On all of us. Heck, I’m going to rant about the expectations we place on ourselves! Because enough is enough.

I’ve had enough. And I know I’m not alone. I know there are people of all ages, genders, locations, religions, classes, who are sick to death of trying to live up to a million unattainable, unachievable expectations. And we shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to feel bad about ourselves, we shouldn’t have to stress and worry. We should enjoy and celebrate what we do instead of suffer over what we don’t.→   Keep Reading!

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Fixing Mother’s Day

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Mother and baby

So yesterday was Mother’s Day. For some reason, this day is notoriously difficult for men and children to master. My guess – women are impossible. Some of us want gifts, some want attention, some want to be left completely alone. To breakfast in bed or not to breakfast in bed? That is the question. So hopefully something went right for you. Hopefully, somewhere, someone got something just the way you wanted it and you had a least a moment of a “perfect Mother’s Day.”→   Keep Reading!

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Marriage: The Three Legged Marathon

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Last night I was talking to my husband. I compared marriage to a three legged race and told him I picked the best partner for it. After thinking about it some more, I realized my analogy was good but not perfect. In a three legged race, you are strapped on to someone else’s leg and have to work together to successfully finish the race. The more you work together, the faster you can move. The problem with my analogy is that marriage isn’t a sprint. You don’t just work together for a few minutes to win this race. Marriage is a marathon.→   Keep Reading!

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Surviving a Suicide: A Loved One’s Journey

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I guess it’s this time of year, I start thinking about her. I start remembering everything. I start missing her worse…not that I ever really stop. It’s been 6 years now. I’m older than she is. It was hard to have that birthday. Now I’m used to it.

There have been a lot of hard mile markers along the way. Time doesn’t seem to make those any easier. Every wedding she isn’t there, every new baby born, every big family event; they don’t improve as the years pass. But hopefully I do. Hopefully we all do. Hopefully we get better at remembering the good and forgetting the bad. Hopefully we can find the joy in these events and accept the sadness her absence leaves.→   Keep Reading!

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Pre-marriage Discussion

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This list will help prepare you for the loops and dips in your relationship.
This list will help prepare you for the loops and dips in your relationship.

Ah love! Isn’t it the best? Finally finding that someone who really “gets” you, someone you want to spend every day for the rest of forever with, someone you feel totally comfortable around but who still gives you jitters. Nothing quite like young love.

It’s pretty easy to get swept up in it. It’s easy to ride the feel good roller coaster and enjoy it, whether we see a few dips ahead or not. But now I want to stomp on your feel goods just a little. What you don’t understand in your love drunk state is that some of those dips ahead have the potential to derail you.→   Keep Reading!

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Are You Really Sorry? A Better Way to Apologize

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better-apology

It happens in every home, in every family, in every real friendship: a fight. Not just a little tift but a real, intense, harsh words spoken (or, if you’re a toddler, fists or toys thrown), kind of fight. And then things are weird. And no one wants to address the weird. And no one wants to be wrong. And no one wants to say sorry. But, eventually, one of parties will apologize. And the other party will say, “That’s ok,” even though it isn’t.

Do you realize that? It isn’t. It isn’t ok to scream and yell at someone you love. It isn’t ok to throw things. It isn’t ok to make someone feel horrible. But it happens. And for some reason, once we apologize for it, we expect for it to be “ok” now. And somehow, eventually, the hurt goes away and it does become ok. But it’s not because you said “sorry.” Those words don’t mean anything. So we built on them in our home. We have a follow-up question after saying “sorry” for something we do wrong. And it isn’t always easy to ask. We also do some explaining. That might be an even harder part for me.→   Keep Reading!

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Why Our Family Says “Fat”

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family-says-fat

“Oh she has a big belly,” I heard from my 3 year old as he watched a young woman playing the cello on t.v.

“Yes she does,” I responded without thinking twice. No, she wasn’t pregnant. No, most people wouldn’t say what I said. No, I didn’t feel mean after saying so. See, here is the thing in our family – describing things (especially from a young child’s perspective) is not the same as insulting things. When he said that, he in no way meant anything mean by it at all. He was actually quite enamored by her. I didn’t turn it into something rude because it wasn’t.→   Keep Reading!

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Content Communication: Better Your Marriage

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content-communication

I want to share a little secret with you. My husband and I don’t agree on everything. Shocking right? Want to hear another secret? We don’t communicate the same. He has very different interests, a very different story telling style, a very different love language, and very different conflict resolution style than I.

I like archery and mom stuff. He likes horses and cows.

I like to tell stories using big hand gestures and dramatic pauses. He likes to laugh at the funny part of the story before he tells it.→   Keep Reading!

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